Friday, January 7, 2011

I'd rather not know

I'm a worrier. Straight up. Sometimes I have a hard time shutting off my brain when I'm trying to sleep. So when I get my oil changed and am handed a long list of things that need replacing/repair on my car, my first instinct is to panic a little. I had no idea I was driving a death trap!

For me, it's difficult to find middle ground between excessive worrying and complete oblivion. Is it helpful for me to know which areas of my car to keep an eye on? Yeah. I've already been keeping coolant in my car so I can pour more in whenever I need it. Is it helpful to freak out about what I'm going to do if my car falls apart while I'm driving on the interstate? Not so much.

I think I tend to worry more because I'm alone. I don't have my dad nearby or a boyfriend/fiance/husband to help me know how to care for my car. I've dealt with car stuff before on my own, but it's always scary for me to be responsible for big decisions. Plus, I really (I mean REALLY) dislike when things are out of my control. It's hard for me to trust that God will take care of things, because I know God's love does not mean that everything will go right all the time.

For now, I think I'm going to continue to care for my car the way I have been: lots of prayer and lots of antifreeze, coupled with a phone call to my dad when things go wrong. I'll probably need to replace my car in the soonish future, but instead of worrying about it (too much, anyway), I'm going to go to a friend's house tonight for dinner and a movie and work on my costume for next weekend. Worrying will only make my free time stressful, and it won't change a single thing.