I love TV. If you ask me my favorite show, I'll probably rattle off three that I've been watching lately. I have the dates written on my calender of 3 different season premieres in the next 2 weeks. Sometimes I get the feeling that people think I'm a little pathetic for watching so much TV. And I might agree, except I do have a social life. I'm super involved in my church. I'm a leader, even. I still read lots of books. I knit, crochet, and paint. I have a love of theatre and try to attend shows regularly.
I grew up with books and TV shows as my main friends. When you're home all day every day with just your siblings, it can feel really hard to fill the time. The librarians used to not believe that I read so many books so fast. I lived vicariously through the people on Full House, Saved by the Bell, and Boy Meets World.
I say this because I've been thinking a lot lately about my latest TV obsession, and the reaction I've seen of others. I love Glee. I loved watching The Glee Project this summer. And I started to follow some of those people on Twitter. I started to see this pattern of person after person asking to be retweeted. For those of you not in Twitter, that basically means that you're asking a person to repost your post. It means they specifically saw your one post amidst what I'm sure are thousands of posts. My initial reaction to seeing all of these people plead for a celebrity to retweet them was that they were kind of sad and pathetic. Did these people really think that getting 2 seconds of acknowledgement from someone they'd never met would make everything better?
And then something I posted got retweeted. I hadn't asked for it or anything, I just posted something. I was surprised at the short burst of happiness that flooded through me. What? I couldn't believe it! So I started thinking about what the appeal is in being acknowledged that way. And I've been talking with someone about feeling like people don't care about you and feeling invisible.
We all crave intimacy. And these days there's a plethora of false intimacy. We have hundreds or thousands of Facebook friends. We read blogs, we Tweet. But how many close friends do we have? I have two. I have other friends that I love dearly, but we've begun to grow apart in recent years, or they're people I haven't known as long so we're not as close. When we don't have people who regularly connect with us, we start to feel desperate just to be seen, to be acknowledged. I don't want to feel invisible. I hate that feeling. I hope to continue developing new relationships, forming new intimate connections with people. I want a group of people with whom I can share my doubts and struggles and not feel judged or preached at.
I still think it'd be amazing to be on TV. I love acting, and I love the friendships and connections you can make with your castmates. But I don't know if I really want fame as much as I thought I did. I don't think I want that pressure of having so many people seek affirmation from me. I don't even fully understand why we think celebrities are so great. It's not like Hollywood has a reputation of churning out fantastic role models. Celebrities are just people. Just like I'm a person. And we all need relationships in our lives that love us for who we are, no matter what.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Last night while I was at a worship night at my church, I felt compelled to jot down some thoughts. I immediately knew I wanted to share those thoughts on my blog. At first I thought the two things I had were unrelated, but as I thought about it, the two things fit together.
Here's the first thing I wrote (the quote is a song lyric that we sang that jumped out at me):
"Every crown no longer on display" We don't need to shine up our trophies and show off our accomplishments to impress God. We can enter into His presence just as we are because Jesus shed His blood for us. Because of God's great grace, we can enter the very throne room of heaven and praise the God who saved us.
Romans 3:22-25
(We're going through Romans in my Bible study and last week we were on chapter 3, so I knew how perfectly those verses backed up my thoughts.)
The second thing I wrote:
Sometimes I feel like Esther. She was chosen by the king, she had gained his favor, but she still feared for her life when she came before the king uninvited. Despite knowing I am God's chosen and that He loves me, I am still sometimes afraid to enter into His presence.
It can be really easy to think that we have to approach God the same way we approach everyone around us: look our best, act our best, prove we're important. But God doesn't work like that. He knows our darkest, dirtiest secrets, and He decided that He still loved us enough to send His son to die so we could be redeemed. And when we screw up again, which we will, because we're human, God loves it when we run back to Him instead of hiding from Him.
Here's the first thing I wrote (the quote is a song lyric that we sang that jumped out at me):
"Every crown no longer on display" We don't need to shine up our trophies and show off our accomplishments to impress God. We can enter into His presence just as we are because Jesus shed His blood for us. Because of God's great grace, we can enter the very throne room of heaven and praise the God who saved us.
Romans 3:22-25
(We're going through Romans in my Bible study and last week we were on chapter 3, so I knew how perfectly those verses backed up my thoughts.)
The second thing I wrote:
Sometimes I feel like Esther. She was chosen by the king, she had gained his favor, but she still feared for her life when she came before the king uninvited. Despite knowing I am God's chosen and that He loves me, I am still sometimes afraid to enter into His presence.
It can be really easy to think that we have to approach God the same way we approach everyone around us: look our best, act our best, prove we're important. But God doesn't work like that. He knows our darkest, dirtiest secrets, and He decided that He still loved us enough to send His son to die so we could be redeemed. And when we screw up again, which we will, because we're human, God loves it when we run back to Him instead of hiding from Him.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Seeing the Parade Differently
Every now and then I have a moment when I see the world a little differently. This happened to me tonight.
One of the cities my church has a campus in had a parade tonight, and I walked with a bunch of other people in the parade. We had a truck pulling one of our trailers, a banner, and we all wore gray (grey? I can never remember.) t-shirts. We had candy buckets, and we walked along a 2-mile parade route passing out candy and waving.
Overall, it was tons of fun. I met people from Substance I didn't know before, and the kids were a lot of fun to watch. But there were a few moments that made me want to cry. Walking in the middle of the street, looking down at the lines of people stretching into the distance, I thought of this blog post on Stuff Christians Like. I started to wish I cold walk up to every person there and tell them, very sincerely, "Do you know how much God loves you?" I kept thinking, "That little girl is God's favorite. That older gentleman is God's favorite. God sure does love that dad over there." For a few moments I got a taste of how much God loves those people, how much he wants them to come to Him.
After the parade we met back together for a bit. As people drifted away, I went and sat in my car. And I cried. Sometimes when I have those moments of seeing the world differently, I push it aside because it hurts too much; it's too big of a feeling. But tonight I just let my heart break for Fridley the way God's heart longs for those people. I may not have had words to pray, but I was praying for them just the same.
One of the cities my church has a campus in had a parade tonight, and I walked with a bunch of other people in the parade. We had a truck pulling one of our trailers, a banner, and we all wore gray (grey? I can never remember.) t-shirts. We had candy buckets, and we walked along a 2-mile parade route passing out candy and waving.
Overall, it was tons of fun. I met people from Substance I didn't know before, and the kids were a lot of fun to watch. But there were a few moments that made me want to cry. Walking in the middle of the street, looking down at the lines of people stretching into the distance, I thought of this blog post on Stuff Christians Like. I started to wish I cold walk up to every person there and tell them, very sincerely, "Do you know how much God loves you?" I kept thinking, "That little girl is God's favorite. That older gentleman is God's favorite. God sure does love that dad over there." For a few moments I got a taste of how much God loves those people, how much he wants them to come to Him.
After the parade we met back together for a bit. As people drifted away, I went and sat in my car. And I cried. Sometimes when I have those moments of seeing the world differently, I push it aside because it hurts too much; it's too big of a feeling. But tonight I just let my heart break for Fridley the way God's heart longs for those people. I may not have had words to pray, but I was praying for them just the same.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Pride: A Story of Ramen
I struggle a lot with pride. It's hard for me because I'm not the type who goes around openly saying that I'm better than other people. I actually often compare myself to other people and find myself short all the time (but that's a whole different issue). My pride is the quiet, hidden thoughts I have about other people and how I'm better than them.
I realized this yet again on Monday. What happened Monday? I ate Ramen noodles. Now for most of my friends, this would be no big deal. I mean, Ramen noodles are a college student's best friend, right?
I did not eat Ramen even once in college. Sort of on purpose. Monday was the first time I ever ate Ramen noodles.
When I was in college and a broke student, I never went looking for Ramen at the grocery store. I made a conscious decision not to eat Ramen. Because I was proud. See, I had this picture in my head that Ramen was for poor people who couldn't afford "real" food. And I wasn't a "poor" person. I was well off, I was fantastic, I was BETTER.
How arrogant. How sad.
It's cool to be thrifty now. There's even a TV show called "Extreme Couponing." People are all about saving money. But when I was in college, I wanted to look like I was the type of person who didn't need to worry about money. It's such a shallow, silly thing. I used to be embarrassed that I would shop at Aldi. Now I'm proud that I don't spend a ton on groceries.
It shouldn't matter what other people think. Food is food, and I can't believe that I smug about not eating a certain kind of food. Especially now that I know it's tasty and I can buy lots of it and not break my budget. Maybe it was just a youthful foolishness sort of phase. But pride is pride, and now that I've tried Ramen and am hooked, I need to be on the lookout for the next thing that I'll cling to to make me feel better. I shouldn't even be comparing myself to others to find my worth.
It's not about what I eat, what I buy, what I do. I am created in God's image and Jesus died so that I could spend eternity in heaven. My pride seems unbelievably foolish when I take the time to look at the big picture.
I realized this yet again on Monday. What happened Monday? I ate Ramen noodles. Now for most of my friends, this would be no big deal. I mean, Ramen noodles are a college student's best friend, right?
I did not eat Ramen even once in college. Sort of on purpose. Monday was the first time I ever ate Ramen noodles.
When I was in college and a broke student, I never went looking for Ramen at the grocery store. I made a conscious decision not to eat Ramen. Because I was proud. See, I had this picture in my head that Ramen was for poor people who couldn't afford "real" food. And I wasn't a "poor" person. I was well off, I was fantastic, I was BETTER.
How arrogant. How sad.
It's cool to be thrifty now. There's even a TV show called "Extreme Couponing." People are all about saving money. But when I was in college, I wanted to look like I was the type of person who didn't need to worry about money. It's such a shallow, silly thing. I used to be embarrassed that I would shop at Aldi. Now I'm proud that I don't spend a ton on groceries.
It shouldn't matter what other people think. Food is food, and I can't believe that I smug about not eating a certain kind of food. Especially now that I know it's tasty and I can buy lots of it and not break my budget. Maybe it was just a youthful foolishness sort of phase. But pride is pride, and now that I've tried Ramen and am hooked, I need to be on the lookout for the next thing that I'll cling to to make me feel better. I shouldn't even be comparing myself to others to find my worth.
It's not about what I eat, what I buy, what I do. I am created in God's image and Jesus died so that I could spend eternity in heaven. My pride seems unbelievably foolish when I take the time to look at the big picture.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
The End is Near
Have you heard? The rapture is going to happen on Saturday. That's the buzz that's going around. Here's an article about it: http://www.twincities.com/ci_
I get frustrated when stuff like this happens for two reasons. First of all, it makes Christians look kind of crazy or weird (and frankly, really gullible/stupid when it doesn't happen). We all know that often an entire people group is judged by the most outspoken people of that group, even if those people are not accurate representations. Second, I hate the reactions of other people. I heard this being made fun of on the radio today. In the article above, it says that there are people who are mocking the idea by planning anti-rapture parties. I hate how something like this diminishes the impact of the truth for many people.
I do believe that Jesus is going to come back. I do believe that there will be judgment. The Bible doesn't give a detailed play-by-play of what's going to happen, but I think there is definitely an outline. Could Jesus come back on Saturday? I don't see why not. But instead of spouting off end of the world stuff, you know, "repent for the end is near," why don't we show people through our actions how Jesus can change someone's life right now? Thinking about the end is scary. Finding hope for right now is wonderful.
P.S. Pastor Pete Wilson also wrote a blog about this: http://bit.ly/liNBdb. It reminded me that I had the link sitting in my email waiting for me to write the post. Peter Haas, my pastor, wrote an incredible blog with a brief summary of the different end-times views: http://peterhaas.org/2011/05/20/is-the-rapture-coming-this-saturday/.
I get frustrated when stuff like this happens for two reasons. First of all, it makes Christians look kind of crazy or weird (and frankly, really gullible/stupid when it doesn't happen). We all know that often an entire people group is judged by the most outspoken people of that group, even if those people are not accurate representations. Second, I hate the reactions of other people. I heard this being made fun of on the radio today. In the article above, it says that there are people who are mocking the idea by planning anti-rapture parties. I hate how something like this diminishes the impact of the truth for many people.
I do believe that Jesus is going to come back. I do believe that there will be judgment. The Bible doesn't give a detailed play-by-play of what's going to happen, but I think there is definitely an outline. Could Jesus come back on Saturday? I don't see why not. But instead of spouting off end of the world stuff, you know, "repent for the end is near," why don't we show people through our actions how Jesus can change someone's life right now? Thinking about the end is scary. Finding hope for right now is wonderful.
P.S. Pastor Pete Wilson also wrote a blog about this: http://bit.ly/liNBdb. It reminded me that I had the link sitting in my email waiting for me to write the post. Peter Haas, my pastor, wrote an incredible blog with a brief summary of the different end-times views: http://peterhaas.org/2011/05/20/is-the-rapture-coming-this-saturday/.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Unforgiveness
Tonight at Deeper the theme of unforgiveness came up a few times. Tonight I didn't feel like this was an issue I needed to tackle, but there are times when something brings up a memory of the past and I find myself holding a grudge again. As I was thinking about how unforgiveness holds us back, especially when it comes to God moving in our lives, I got a mental image of why we hold on to unforgiveness.
I pictured a dragon, but in case you have not recently read several books about dragons like I have, I'll use a dog. Dogs are generally considered to be friendly and loveable. They are fun, and they like to play and interact with their owners. The dog is healthy and happy. But then it gets hurt. Say the dog's paw gets pierced with a sharp stick. The dog is probably not going to walk up to its owner and willingly sit still while the stick gets pulled out and the wound gets cleaned. The dog will retreat, and may even growl and snap at its owner. The dog might even bite to keep people away. It does not want to get hurt anymore, so it does the only thing it knows to protect itself.
When we get hurt, we are like that dog. It sometimes feels easier to be angry and keep people away, sometimes even hate them, than it does to let go. Justice is really important for me. It is so hard for me to let God deal with people who hurt me rather than creating my own justice. I often cover up my pain with anger. The truth is that if I don't lower my defenses and let God start to remove the junk, I'm not going to get better.
Sometimes I think I have forgiven someone and that I'm fine, only to have someone say something that makes me hurt all over again. I wonder if maybe that's what Jesus was talking about when he said that we can't just stop forgiving after seven times. I have to choose time and time again to let go, to forgive, even for the same thing. I'm not perfect at forgiving. Whenever I hear someone talking about forgiveness, there are two people I have known in my life who always come to mind. These two people are people who hurt me tremendously. Part of me wants to stay angry, to stay defensive. Deep down, though, I know that really just hurts me.
For example: a person whom we'll call Sergio (not his real name) was someone whom I really trusted. Sergio was really important in my life. And then he did something that crushed me. I was so hurt, so devastated. For awhile, I was incredibly angry. I absolutely did not want to forgive Sergio. I wanted to hate him. I wanted bad things to happen to him so that he would hurt as much as I was hurting. But after awhile, it was really hard to be so angry. Sergio had really helped me get through some tough stuff. He had a big influence on me. It was important to me to hold onto the good memories. Trying to both hold onto good things and be really angry was more than I could handle. So I let go of my anger. I remember exactly how it happened, but I let go. And it felt so good. There are times when I still feel the hurt, but now that I'm not holding onto anger and unforgiveness, I can think about the good memories. I can heal.
I wish that deciding to forgive someone meant that you instantly felt better and you wouldn't ever hurt again. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Even once you let someone pull the stick out of your paw, it takes time to heal. Sometimes the skin is sensitive even after it heals. And there's always the chance you'll step on another stick sometime and get hurt all over again. But choosing to forgive again and again means choosing healing again and again. Forgiving means choosing to acknowledge the pain but not holding on to it. I'm so glad that even though forgiveness is often difficult for me, God forgives me every single time I ask him, and he never holds grudges against me.
I pictured a dragon, but in case you have not recently read several books about dragons like I have, I'll use a dog. Dogs are generally considered to be friendly and loveable. They are fun, and they like to play and interact with their owners. The dog is healthy and happy. But then it gets hurt. Say the dog's paw gets pierced with a sharp stick. The dog is probably not going to walk up to its owner and willingly sit still while the stick gets pulled out and the wound gets cleaned. The dog will retreat, and may even growl and snap at its owner. The dog might even bite to keep people away. It does not want to get hurt anymore, so it does the only thing it knows to protect itself.
When we get hurt, we are like that dog. It sometimes feels easier to be angry and keep people away, sometimes even hate them, than it does to let go. Justice is really important for me. It is so hard for me to let God deal with people who hurt me rather than creating my own justice. I often cover up my pain with anger. The truth is that if I don't lower my defenses and let God start to remove the junk, I'm not going to get better.
Sometimes I think I have forgiven someone and that I'm fine, only to have someone say something that makes me hurt all over again. I wonder if maybe that's what Jesus was talking about when he said that we can't just stop forgiving after seven times. I have to choose time and time again to let go, to forgive, even for the same thing. I'm not perfect at forgiving. Whenever I hear someone talking about forgiveness, there are two people I have known in my life who always come to mind. These two people are people who hurt me tremendously. Part of me wants to stay angry, to stay defensive. Deep down, though, I know that really just hurts me.
For example: a person whom we'll call Sergio (not his real name) was someone whom I really trusted. Sergio was really important in my life. And then he did something that crushed me. I was so hurt, so devastated. For awhile, I was incredibly angry. I absolutely did not want to forgive Sergio. I wanted to hate him. I wanted bad things to happen to him so that he would hurt as much as I was hurting. But after awhile, it was really hard to be so angry. Sergio had really helped me get through some tough stuff. He had a big influence on me. It was important to me to hold onto the good memories. Trying to both hold onto good things and be really angry was more than I could handle. So I let go of my anger. I remember exactly how it happened, but I let go. And it felt so good. There are times when I still feel the hurt, but now that I'm not holding onto anger and unforgiveness, I can think about the good memories. I can heal.
I wish that deciding to forgive someone meant that you instantly felt better and you wouldn't ever hurt again. Unfortunately, that's not how it works. Even once you let someone pull the stick out of your paw, it takes time to heal. Sometimes the skin is sensitive even after it heals. And there's always the chance you'll step on another stick sometime and get hurt all over again. But choosing to forgive again and again means choosing healing again and again. Forgiving means choosing to acknowledge the pain but not holding on to it. I'm so glad that even though forgiveness is often difficult for me, God forgives me every single time I ask him, and he never holds grudges against me.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Isn't it Obvious?
I'm in 2 Kings right now as I'm reading my way through the Bible. King after king did what was evil in the sight of the Lord. Their idolatry was so obvious. They put up an Ashorah pole? Of course that was a bad idea! It's so easy to look at other people around us or even at the people in the Bible and see where they went wrong. David shouldn't have been at home when his troops were at war, and he should never have gotten involved with Bathsheba. Samson should never have revealed the secret of his strength to Delilah.
I've often wondered why people make such obvious mistakes. I tend to think that if given the opportunity, I would easily make the right decision in those situations. Except when you're in the midst of things there are often lots of smaller, less obvious choices. When I was 18 I never thought it was even possible that I would make the choices I did when I was 21. But I did. I think that's one of the many reasons why it's so important to have a group of friends that holds you accountable. They can help you spot the stupid mistakes long before you're in too deep.
I've often wondered why people make such obvious mistakes. I tend to think that if given the opportunity, I would easily make the right decision in those situations. Except when you're in the midst of things there are often lots of smaller, less obvious choices. When I was 18 I never thought it was even possible that I would make the choices I did when I was 21. But I did. I think that's one of the many reasons why it's so important to have a group of friends that holds you accountable. They can help you spot the stupid mistakes long before you're in too deep.
Friday, January 7, 2011
I'd rather not know
I'm a worrier. Straight up. Sometimes I have a hard time shutting off my brain when I'm trying to sleep. So when I get my oil changed and am handed a long list of things that need replacing/repair on my car, my first instinct is to panic a little. I had no idea I was driving a death trap!
For me, it's difficult to find middle ground between excessive worrying and complete oblivion. Is it helpful for me to know which areas of my car to keep an eye on? Yeah. I've already been keeping coolant in my car so I can pour more in whenever I need it. Is it helpful to freak out about what I'm going to do if my car falls apart while I'm driving on the interstate? Not so much.
I think I tend to worry more because I'm alone. I don't have my dad nearby or a boyfriend/fiance/husband to help me know how to care for my car. I've dealt with car stuff before on my own, but it's always scary for me to be responsible for big decisions. Plus, I really (I mean REALLY) dislike when things are out of my control. It's hard for me to trust that God will take care of things, because I know God's love does not mean that everything will go right all the time.
For now, I think I'm going to continue to care for my car the way I have been: lots of prayer and lots of antifreeze, coupled with a phone call to my dad when things go wrong. I'll probably need to replace my car in the soonish future, but instead of worrying about it (too much, anyway), I'm going to go to a friend's house tonight for dinner and a movie and work on my costume for next weekend. Worrying will only make my free time stressful, and it won't change a single thing.
For me, it's difficult to find middle ground between excessive worrying and complete oblivion. Is it helpful for me to know which areas of my car to keep an eye on? Yeah. I've already been keeping coolant in my car so I can pour more in whenever I need it. Is it helpful to freak out about what I'm going to do if my car falls apart while I'm driving on the interstate? Not so much.
I think I tend to worry more because I'm alone. I don't have my dad nearby or a boyfriend/fiance/husband to help me know how to care for my car. I've dealt with car stuff before on my own, but it's always scary for me to be responsible for big decisions. Plus, I really (I mean REALLY) dislike when things are out of my control. It's hard for me to trust that God will take care of things, because I know God's love does not mean that everything will go right all the time.
For now, I think I'm going to continue to care for my car the way I have been: lots of prayer and lots of antifreeze, coupled with a phone call to my dad when things go wrong. I'll probably need to replace my car in the soonish future, but instead of worrying about it (too much, anyway), I'm going to go to a friend's house tonight for dinner and a movie and work on my costume for next weekend. Worrying will only make my free time stressful, and it won't change a single thing.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Remembering
Joseph Nicholas Weninger was my grandpa. My mom's dad. And the last few days we've been mourning his death and celebrating his life.
It's been so good to talk with my family about things we remember. I remember my grandpa and his overalls, and how he always had Tootsie Rolls for the grandkids. I remember sitting on his lap, and he'd hold my hands and clap them together, then he'd force my hands to miss, and he'd ask me, "Why'd you miss?" He loved to crack jokes and tease us, and I loved how he made Grandma laugh.
Grandpa was a fantastic game player. He played Cribbage all the time with my uncles. I've played Rummikub with him many, many times, and he had moves that were far beyond me. More than once he would take his first turn and lay out all of his tiles in one move, sometimes before I even had a turn! I loved playing Rummy Royale at the kitchen table. We're so competitive when we play cards, but we all have fun no matter how we're doing.
When I was a junior in high school, I got the part of Eliza Doolittle in Pygmalion. Grandma and Grandpa came to see one of the performances. I know they probably couldn't hear it very well, and they might not have really understood what was going on, but the fact that they drove more than an hour just to see my play meant so much to me.
Grandpa always drank water out of a jar with a handle. He loved to do crossword puzzles, and he loved to fish. I was amazed at some of the pictures I saw, because he caught some gigantic fish! He also had a saying: "It's better than ice cream!" It didn't matter what food was in question, or that I was a picky eater. It was always "better than ice cream."
I loved watching Grandma and Grandpa together. They were so sweet to each other. They raised 12 children together and had a long life together. They loved each other so much, even after more than 60 years of being married. They took care of each other. Grandpa constantly referred to Grandma as his bride, and I loved watching the little things they did for each other.
My grandpa was in the army in WW2. He served for two years, and I was so proud that his funeral reflected that. He was a dashing figure in his uniform. There's a lot of politics surrounding the army today, and people have really strong opinions about where our troops are and what they're fighting for. I don't always know how I feel about that, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am so proud and thankful that Grandpa served.
I'm going to really miss Grandpa. He was a wonderful man, and he gave me a wonderful family that I love very much.
It's been so good to talk with my family about things we remember. I remember my grandpa and his overalls, and how he always had Tootsie Rolls for the grandkids. I remember sitting on his lap, and he'd hold my hands and clap them together, then he'd force my hands to miss, and he'd ask me, "Why'd you miss?" He loved to crack jokes and tease us, and I loved how he made Grandma laugh.
Grandpa was a fantastic game player. He played Cribbage all the time with my uncles. I've played Rummikub with him many, many times, and he had moves that were far beyond me. More than once he would take his first turn and lay out all of his tiles in one move, sometimes before I even had a turn! I loved playing Rummy Royale at the kitchen table. We're so competitive when we play cards, but we all have fun no matter how we're doing.
When I was a junior in high school, I got the part of Eliza Doolittle in Pygmalion. Grandma and Grandpa came to see one of the performances. I know they probably couldn't hear it very well, and they might not have really understood what was going on, but the fact that they drove more than an hour just to see my play meant so much to me.
Grandpa always drank water out of a jar with a handle. He loved to do crossword puzzles, and he loved to fish. I was amazed at some of the pictures I saw, because he caught some gigantic fish! He also had a saying: "It's better than ice cream!" It didn't matter what food was in question, or that I was a picky eater. It was always "better than ice cream."
I loved watching Grandma and Grandpa together. They were so sweet to each other. They raised 12 children together and had a long life together. They loved each other so much, even after more than 60 years of being married. They took care of each other. Grandpa constantly referred to Grandma as his bride, and I loved watching the little things they did for each other.
My grandpa was in the army in WW2. He served for two years, and I was so proud that his funeral reflected that. He was a dashing figure in his uniform. There's a lot of politics surrounding the army today, and people have really strong opinions about where our troops are and what they're fighting for. I don't always know how I feel about that, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am so proud and thankful that Grandpa served.
I'm going to really miss Grandpa. He was a wonderful man, and he gave me a wonderful family that I love very much.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Periodic Update
November has been a crazy month. It's been a time of adjusting my life around working full-time. I'm still working out the kinks of not having much down time during the week, but having longer weekends definitely helps.
I love my job. I was really nervous the first week, a little nervous the second week, and not nervous at all last week. I'm really comfortable using the dental software (I'm a receptionist at a dental office), and my comfort level at being on the phone has gone way up. I really like my coworkers, and I'm getting into the groove of things.
Right now I'm visiting my parents for the long weekend. I have to work the day after Thanksgiving, so I can't travel to be with family for the actual holiday. I decided to make the most of my Friday off and spend take this weekend as my holiday visit. Christmas will be spent with my dad's family, and I'm really excited about that.
Time is a funny thing. I felt like I had too much time, that I didn't use my time well when I didn't have a job. Now that I'm working full time, I never seem to have enough time during the week. I don't journal as much, I clearly haven't been blogging as much, and I have a hard time finding time and energy to get in some exercise during the week. Even though I have less time for myself, I feel happier. Getting a job didn't magically solve all my problems, and I still need to be on a tight budget, but I don't have to let those things determine the state of my inner peace. I still have to trust every day that God will provide for my needs, and I still need to make it a priority to spend some time focused on God every day.
I like my life right now. For the most part, I like who I am, or at least who I'm becoming. I like working hard, paying my bills, and making responsible, grown up decisions. It's not such a bad phase of life to be in. :)
I love my job. I was really nervous the first week, a little nervous the second week, and not nervous at all last week. I'm really comfortable using the dental software (I'm a receptionist at a dental office), and my comfort level at being on the phone has gone way up. I really like my coworkers, and I'm getting into the groove of things.
Right now I'm visiting my parents for the long weekend. I have to work the day after Thanksgiving, so I can't travel to be with family for the actual holiday. I decided to make the most of my Friday off and spend take this weekend as my holiday visit. Christmas will be spent with my dad's family, and I'm really excited about that.
Time is a funny thing. I felt like I had too much time, that I didn't use my time well when I didn't have a job. Now that I'm working full time, I never seem to have enough time during the week. I don't journal as much, I clearly haven't been blogging as much, and I have a hard time finding time and energy to get in some exercise during the week. Even though I have less time for myself, I feel happier. Getting a job didn't magically solve all my problems, and I still need to be on a tight budget, but I don't have to let those things determine the state of my inner peace. I still have to trust every day that God will provide for my needs, and I still need to make it a priority to spend some time focused on God every day.
I like my life right now. For the most part, I like who I am, or at least who I'm becoming. I like working hard, paying my bills, and making responsible, grown up decisions. It's not such a bad phase of life to be in. :)
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